slowman's Journal

6 October
External Services:
  • slowman@livejournal.com
About me, hummm, what can be said? Well I will start with the basics. I grew up in a very small suburban/farming community. Everyone at least once in their lives who lived in my town took an animal to the county fair. Thats the life I knew until high school. Then I discovered that everyone did drugs. I kinda knew about them when I lived in what I like to call "White Trash Manor" other wise known as a trailer park. I didnt know of the scale though. My friend Johnathan Gamble introduced me to what was really going on. Everyone was doing meth and shit like that. Then I decided one day to try smoking pot. That was a very interesting event. I never did any thing harder than that even though almost everone I hung out with did that shit. I think that Johnathan, eventhough being a bad influence stopped me from doing it because, he didnt do the stuff. He did on the otherhand try to get me to do acid, I wasnt havin that.
I put on a good front though. No one from my school besides a few select friends saw me drink or smoke until my Senior year. Until then I was known as the goody boy, 4.0 gpa student and ok athlete. Then I started going to parties and havin some fun.
My junior year I met this girl named Mara at work and damn she wanted it. So I played it out and got into a relationship with her. Our relationship was all about the sex. Its all we did for six months, all the while she was showing me more and more of her true self. I wasnt liking it. She wasnt liking the fact that I was kind of a sensitive guy and wouldnt put her in her place, so we broke up. That sucked! Holy shit that changed my view on women.
From then on I started sleepin around and never really stopped to think of the consequence. No I do not have a STD, I just dont know how I will ever have a normal relationship if I keep this up.
I did finally try shrooms with my friend Danny Girl on my 19th B-day. That night was crazy. I was changed afterward. Now I am doing ethnogenic research.
I am conserned about my alcohol consumption though. When I drink I usually binge. I dont do it on purpose though. Another problem which arises from this problem is that my memory is lost from that night. I absolutely hate it, so why do I keep doin it? I dont know? Because it is avaliable. Because it is socially acceptable. I dont know if I even like it. I dont think I will have a problem with alcoholism, because I dont feel as if I kneed to drink, but its hard for one to say.
On a good note I am still getting good grades. Something that I dont like to say but I feel I must every once in a while. Its not like bragging but more like showing people that I am not just about partying.